We had a wonderful time in Turkey and I can't think of a better way for us to get an introduction to the Middle East, its culture and its people, and starting in Istanbul was the right choice for us, since that city was the closest we would get to "familiar things".
Turkey can easily be divided into two worlds, east and west. The West being modern, very touristic, with a foot in Europe. The East was more authentic to its own native culture in every aspect. As a general rule we found that in the West the people dressed like us, jeans, T-shirts, shirts, women wore french perfumes and used make up. We saw very few head scarves and traditional clothes. In the East more women wore headscarves, dresses topped by raincoat-like jackets that covered down to their ankles. Some wore the more hard-core Muslim black dresses with every inch of their body covered, including faces and hands. It is quite contradictory to see the same women at the markets shopping for lace lingerie!
Men wear the traditional Muslim hats, most of them wear suits (no tie), dress pants and jackets or some traditional pants that remind us of those wore by MC Hammer when he sang "Can't touch this".
As most people are mostly covered, materials are very light and breathable. Women sport all kinds of floral designs, some polka dots and very few stripes. If fashion police were to make a stop in this corner of the world, most wouldn't pass the test as they combine several prints and colors, but to us it makes it more picturesque. Most traditional head scarves have a crochet lace with beads that hands over the edge, ornamenting their faces.
Social classes are very clear and you can tell by the way they dress and by the cars they drive. We saw an amazing range of cars, from European to Asian, to Russian and American, with quite a few brand new 4x4s.
One of the interesting things we learned about is that until a few years ago, the poor would only attend the doctor's office when they were seriously sick but now that the government covers it, with them having to pay a minimum fee, they now even show up when they have headaches which, according to some, is seriously raising the cost of health insurance to those that can afford it, to compensate the loss... Haven't we heard that story before?
In the West we saw little to no homeless or beggars, and we saw just a few beggars in the East. People explained to us that to Muslims "family comes first" and they take care of each other ..."nobody would let a family member go through that" they say, therefore it is not uncommon that more than three generations live under the same roof.
Friendship is very important as well and they nurture their relationships by getting together very often. Women usually get together during the day at one of their homes and according to the man "they watch soap operas and talk, talk, talk about everything". Men get together during the afternoon or after dinner time at local outdoor cafes and play chess, backgammon and drink copious amounts of tea. They love soccer and follow games from around the world, so its very easy to find a group gathered around the TV cheering for their favorites. They know the names of most Argentinean soccer players, which they are happy to name to us, and they watch all the Argentinean games, some are even fans of either River or Boca Jrs!
Most of the Turkish are very religious and depending on the area where they live, they follow the religion to a greater or lesser degree. In the East we saw people pray all five times that they are supposed to (5am - noon - mid afternoon - sunset and after dark) but this was not what we experienced in the West.
In the East it is extremely important for women to remain virgins until they get married. The big cities of the West are more European in this aspect as well and it is not uncommon for couples to live together out of wedlock.
Eastern marriages are arranged by the families, some in the West as well, but fewer. The future husband tells his family what kind of woman he would like to marry and the search starts. After the right one is met, the future couple meets a few times and agree or not to proceed. The "boyfriend" is not only supposed to pay for a three day wedding but also a certain amount of money to the father of the bride, and presents to everyone attending the event (often over a couple of hundred people). We did get to ask some men how they felt about this in comparison to marrying after having a "western-like" relationship and having the chance to fall in love and we received some interesting answers, such as the fact that to them ..."being with someone every day evolves into love, and specially once the other person gives you children the love multiplies". Most eastern women marry between 18 and 23. We learned that most western women marry in their 30s.
The Government prohibits women that work for governmental entities or that attend Universities to wear headscarves. However most man prefer that their spouses stay at home raising the kids and they make sure they are kept busy by having quite a few of them. To wear or not to wear headscarves is a personal choice that don't seem to be judged by friends or family. It's very normal to see a couple of women together where one is wearing it and the other isn't, however women must cover their heads to enter the mosques.
Although there is no tolerance for homosexuality and those that have those preferences either hide it or move to Istanbul, it is quite interesting to see men holding hands or go arm in arm walking down the street. To them, a sign of good friendship, to our eyes, a bit too close and too touchy-feely.
We loved the food and had amazing food experiences. We loved meeting the people and learning about their lives. We loved the East, specially the Southeast of the country and we highly encourage everyone to visit it regardless of what the rest of the country has to say about it, although as I write this, troops are being sent there and they are bombarding the Kurdish rebels in Northern Iraq. I guess we were very lucky to be there right before this happened.
Gaby
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